Thursday, April 10, 2008

Who's yo Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ’father’s details;’ or putting it another way.... Who’s yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him,can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don’t have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

Finally an update

So it has been a long while since I have posted a journal entry. I really just haven’t felt like I had anything to say really. A lot has happened in the last few weeks but I just haven’t been to motivated to do anything.

Last time I wrote I was just about to be laid off my last job due to budget cuts. I was really sad to be leaving that job, I had enjoyed all the employees there and my work there was interesting. The pay was low but I was surviving. So that was hard. Plus I was terrified to start the job hunt again. I have had three periods of unemployment in the last few years and I was dreading another few months of building debt and rejection from employers. Luckily I was hired by another state agency for their helpdesk.

There are some downsides to this job and a couple of upsides. I was only out of work for two weeks. I got a five dollar an hour raise and it is still with the state so I get great benefits. The down side is it is shift work so there are times where I will be working in the evenings and maybe the graveyard shifts. I have no idea how that will be I am not a night person and I don’t know how my body will react to the late shifts. The fist five weeks though I will be on a M-F 8-5 shift which is nice.

The last few weeks I was also able to visit family. My parents and my sister and her family all came down to NM for a wedding and to help my other sister pack up all her belongings in prep for her move to Utah in May. She was accepted to BYU for her senior year of college. She really didn’t like UNM at all. With her moving back to Utah I will be the last one left here in NM. The rest of my family has moved back to Utah with the exception of my baby sister who is in Florida with her husband and new baby boy. Of course they have plans to move to Utah in a year or so. It was nice to see some of the family so soon after my trip to Utah.

This last weekend was the American Bear Awakening. The local bear run we have put on every year recently; this was a third year actually. It was fun but stressful, so many little things went wrong that while over all things went well behind the scenes it was stressful. We had about 50 guys show up and overall they seemed to have a good time despite the schedule being misprinted.

That stress added to the stress of starting the new job the very next day has really tired me out and I am in the middle of catching a new cold. I am really REALLY getting tired of being sick. I just barely got over the last one after a month and a half and now this. Oh well just another thing to take one day at a time I guess.

So things are actually going pretty good. I am tired all the time but I really can’t complain. Life is good.