Another night slowly, Oh so slowly, goes by. The poll I created closes and looks like most of the people who check out my blog are nude sleepers. Somehow that fact doesn’t surprise me all that much.
I have been trying to write this entry for about an hour now and I am having the hardest time putting things down into words. Every time I think of something it just seems trivial and I lose interest in before I can even formulate the thoughts. Part of it is I have been feeling a bit down this evening. This guy I dated a few times a while back asked me today why I don’t talk that much with him anymore. I was flabbergasted. We had gone out a few times and talked a lot over the space of a couple of weeks and then he just stopped. When I finally talked to him again he was driving to breakfast with the guy he had spent the last night with, okay that made it clear where we were huh? Par for the course I guess. Anyway so today he asks why we don’t talk all that much and I honestly say I was falling for him and needed space to deal. Again I am not sure what I felt for him. I liked him and missed him but it seemed to me that going back to the chattiness we had before just wasn’t possible or realistic. His response was I thought you knew I was just looking for friends. I was I admit a bit sarcastic back in saying that and now you are dating someone, you can see where I would be getting mixed messages. Guys suck.
I do admit that I envy those guys who find someone and have been together for years upon years. It would be nice but it doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me. Other people have worse problems than me. You just get the venting and frustrations, they need to come out somewhere bottling up things like that just make things worse. Things build up and bitterness becomes a way of life, which is not something I want to become. So you guys get a little complaining once in a while, *grin*.
Other than that little bit of stuff things are okay. I am still not used to the whole night shift thing but I am going through a lot of my movies. I watch at least 3 to 4 a night. Tonight it was Heartbreakers, Mambo Italiano, Gone, But Not Forgotten, Race You To The Bottom and Latter Days. Mostly gay films tonight, it is nice to see a bit of romance even if it is fictional. Of course I ending up sobbing again while watching Latter Days, same as always.